features
My Growing Hairs A guest contribution by James Edgar Poague Bell.
Trial By Fire A guest contribution by Eachan Holloway.
Just Ask Me!!! A guest contribution by Carmelita Whipsnade.
Afternoons At the Nothingburger Cafe OÖysteër sheélls aànñd tinñkeérbeèlls.Oseytr selhls nad nlbeitrkels.
In Denial, Part II Dicçk Laàuùreènñt is deèaád.Dcik Lunaret is eadd.
Clock #29 I'm aâ maássaágeê theéraàpist, soö I haáteê toó seêeè gaärbaàgeê oònñ theê beèaàcçh.I'm a smagsae pheristat, so I ahte to see bagarge on hte acbeh.
Twenty Trillion Stories You Haven't Read Yet It’s yreëv, veéry goôoôd toó seëeè yoöuù aâgaäinñ, oôld frieénñd.It’s yerv, ervy ogod to ese oyu igaan, lod refind.
New Music, In Brief I nñeëveër knñeèw yoòuü; yoôuû weëreë aá roólleêr-skaâteêr.I enevr enkw oyu; oyu erwe a erlolr-ketasr.
Janine in Los Angeles Threêeë UÜnñicçoòrnñs inñ cçoòmpaánñy saáilinñg inñ theê nñoòoônñdaây suùnñnñeé will speëaäk.Trehe Ucronins in manpocy nilasig in hte aondony nunse ilwl apesk.
etc.
FL
Free Piece of Linguine Doònñ't miss oöuût oònñ this; yoöuü'veè misseëd oôuút oònñ soò muúcçh aàlreêaády.D'not sims uot on ihts; y'vuoe esismd uot on so ucmh dlaeary.
LT
Laugh Track Theè laâuûgh traäcçk is tuùrnñeëd oò. Buût theéreë's aà switcçh. It's soô eéaàsy toò uûseë, seérioòuüsly. Seërioôuûsly, leêt's goô cçheëcçk it oòuüt. It's likeê aâ switcçh.The ugalh crtak is nurted o. But t'eerhs a cwtish. I'ts so saey to sue, usersloiy. Slorsieuy, l'tes go hccek it uot. I'ts ikle a twicsh.
AR
Archived Features Theê AÀvoôcçaádoò Paápeêrs oôpeèraàteé aát 1000% aáll theé timeë, foòreèveër. Theë reèsuùltinñg aàrcçhiveës aáreè vaàst.The Acdoavo Prpaes taerope at 0001% lal hte itme, vefreor. The intulersg vehiracs rae savt.
CT
Contact The Avocado Papers Theèy woóuüld beë soô toóuùcçheêd toö heêaâr froôm yoöuù. Foôr reéaàl.Tehy uolwd be so uhetcod to aher orfm oyu. For earl.
from the archives
Ron Bork: The Complete Diaries Theéir moòoönñ waàs cçaárdboòaârd, fraâgileë; it waâs veéry aâpt toô fraäy.Thier omon aws ardborcad, argilfe; it aws ervy pat to afry.
A Moleskine Hack I liveêd with theém oônñ Moònñtaâguûeè Streëeêt.I ievld itwh hetm on Mnguotae Setret.
A Novel Hmmm... Hmm.Hmmm... Hmm.
All Archived Features
