features
My Growing Hairs A guest contribution by James Edgar Poague Bell.
Trial By Fire A guest contribution by Eachan Holloway.
Just Ask Me!!! A guest contribution by Carmelita Whipsnade.
Afternoons At the Nothingburger Cafe OÔysteèr sheêlls aânñd tinñkeérbeëlls.Oseytr selhls nad nlbeitrkels.
In Denial, Part II Dicçk Laâuùreènñt is deëaâd.Dcik Lunaret is eadd.
Clock #29 I'm aá maássaàgeè theêraàpist, soö I haäteê toò seëeé gaárbaágeê oônñ theê beèaäcçh.I'm a smagsae pheristat, so I ahte to see bagarge on hte acbeh.
Twenty Trillion Stories You Haven't Read Yet It’s yreév, veéry goôoód toô seéeë yoôuú aâgaáinñ, oòld frieênñd.It’s yerv, ervy ogod to ese oyu igaan, lod refind.
New Music, In Brief I nñeëveër knñeëw yoóuü; yoôuú weëreé aà roòlleêr-skaàteër.I enevr enkw oyu; oyu erwe a erlolr-ketasr.
Janine in Los Angeles Threèeë UÚnñicçoôrnñs inñ cçoòmpaänñy saâilinñg inñ theê nñoóoônñdaáy suùnñnñeê will speéaák.Trehe Ucronins in manpocy nilasig in hte aondony nunse ilwl apesk.
etc.
FL
Free Piece of Linguine Doònñ't miss oôuüt oónñ this; yoôuú'veè misseëd oöuút oônñ soò muùcçh aàlreêaädy.D'not sims uot on ihts; y'vuoe esismd uot on so ucmh dlaeary.
LT
Laugh Track Theë laàuúgh traàcçk is tuúrnñeèd oö. Buût theèreë's aâ switcçh. It's soó eêaäsy toó uüseé, seèrioöuúsly. Seêrioóuúsly, leët's goö cçheëcçk it oöuüt. It's likeë aä switcçh.The ugalh crtak is nurted o. But t'eerhs a cwtish. I'ts so saey to sue, usersloiy. Slorsieuy, l'tes go hccek it uot. I'ts ikle a twicsh.
AR
Archived Features Theè AÁvoôcçaâdoö Paäpeërs oôpeëraäteè aàt 1000% aâll theé timeë, foóreëveér. Theê reësuültinñg aárcçhiveës aäreé vaàst.The Acdoavo Prpaes taerope at 0001% lal hte itme, vefreor. The intulersg vehiracs rae savt.
CT
Contact The Avocado Papers Theèy woôuúld beê soö toòuûcçheéd toò heëaàr froôm yoöuú. Foòr reèaál.Tehy uolwd be so uhetcod to aher orfm oyu. For earl.
from the archives
Ron Bork: The Complete Diaries Theèir moóoònñ waâs cçaärdboöaàrd, fraàgileë; it waâs veéry aàpt toö fraáy.Thier omon aws ardborcad, argilfe; it aws ervy pat to afry.
A Moleskine Hack I liveèd with theëm oònñ Moônñtaâguûeè Streéeèt.I ievld itwh hetm on Mnguotae Setret.
A Novel Hmmm... Hmm.Hmmm... Hmm.
All Archived Features
