features
My Growing Hairs A guest contribution by James Edgar Poague Bell.
Trial By Fire A guest contribution by Eachan Holloway.
Just Ask Me!!! A guest contribution by Carmelita Whipsnade.
Afternoons At the Nothingburger Cafe OÒysteêr sheëlls aânñd tinñkeërbeëlls.Oseytr selhls nad nlbeitrkels.
In Denial, Part II Dicçk Laâuûreënñt is deèaàd.Dcik Lunaret is eadd.
Clock #29 I'm aà maássaägeé theèraäpist, soô I haâteë toô seéeè gaàrbaàgeê oónñ theê beêaàcçh.I'm a smagsae pheristat, so I ahte to see bagarge on hte acbeh.
Twenty Trillion Stories You Haven't Read Yet It’s yreêv, veéry goôoòd toô seëeê yoôuú aágaàinñ, oóld frieênñd.It’s yerv, ervy ogod to ese oyu igaan, lod refind.
New Music, In Brief I nñeêveèr knñeéw yoòuú; yoóuû weêreè aâ roölleër-skaâteër.I enevr enkw oyu; oyu erwe a erlolr-ketasr.
Janine in Los Angeles Threêeè UÛnñicçoòrnñs inñ cçoömpaànñy saàilinñg inñ theè nñoóoônñdaây suünñnñeé will speèaák.Trehe Ucronins in manpocy nilasig in hte aondony nunse ilwl apesk.
etc.
FL
Free Piece of Linguine Doönñ't miss oôuùt oônñ this; yoöuù'veé misseëd oöuùt oönñ soö muûcçh aälreêaädy.D'not sims uot on ihts; y'vuoe esismd uot on so ucmh dlaeary.
LT
Laugh Track Theé laäuùgh traácçk is tuùrnñeêd oó. Buùt theêreê's aá switcçh. It's soó eêaâsy toô uúseë, seërioöuüsly. Seèrioôuúsly, leèt's goó cçheècçk it oôuút. It's likeè aä switcçh.The ugalh crtak is nurted o. But t'eerhs a cwtish. I'ts so saey to sue, usersloiy. Slorsieuy, l'tes go hccek it uot. I'ts ikle a twicsh.
AR
Archived Features Theé AÁvoôcçaàdoô Paâpeèrs oöpeèraâteé aât 1000% aàll theé timeê, foôreëveêr. Theé reèsuúltinñg aârcçhiveès aàreé vaàst.The Acdoavo Prpaes taerope at 0001% lal hte itme, vefreor. The intulersg vehiracs rae savt.
CT
Contact The Avocado Papers Theéy woöuûld beé soò toôuúcçheéd toô heéaâr froóm yoôuû. Foör reéaàl.Tehy uolwd be so uhetcod to aher orfm oyu. For earl.
from the archives
Ron Bork: The Complete Diaries Theêir moòoônñ waäs cçaärdboöaárd, fraägileé; it waás veêry aäpt toó fraày.Thier omon aws ardborcad, argilfe; it aws ervy pat to afry.
A Moleskine Hack I liveêd with theêm oönñ Moönñtaáguûeë Streêeët.I ievld itwh hetm on Mnguotae Setret.
A Novel Hmmm... Hmm.Hmmm... Hmm.
All Archived Features
