Psychopharmilogicats
By James Edgar Poague Bell
Illustrations by Richard Agerbeek
 Lithium®, is a sluggish catWho moves so slow You would never know That her mind is always racing With images, self depreciating Social skills, humiliating With her claws the noise is grating It is hard to stop hating! Lithium®, eyes corkscrew Her hair a mess She has suffered a battery of test In an effort to be like the rest To her there is no jest No sunny days in her messy nest To disappear would be the best ____________  Zoloft® is a smiling catThat is found In dark hallways And likes to chat You'll see him staring at a wall Claiming beauty is in the small A flicker of the fluorescent Or crumb like a crescent enthralls most of all So don't take him out He will be glued to the spot In front of a tank Full of fish with dots It's not worth the price Of the aquarium When he swears on her grave One looks like his mum ____________  Prozac® is a difficult cat to surmiseThough famous, when you meet him It is a surprise to you, to have met him before To greet you so pleasantly is never a chore He opens the door And smiles like a friend So why must you meet him again and again? No threat of excess Sacrificed for success At a feverish pitch But that pitch is the same And you met him again and again ____________  Claretin® is a prancing catFor she gallops and wallows In fields and meadows She has terrible dandruff And sheds everywhere So she is kept outside But she does not care For even in her worst trip Through heavy laden pollen strips Never once does her nose drip ____________  Paxil® is a dashing catOnce he had a panic attack But no more, and as a result He is no longer a bore Now he often wears a hat Debonair and full of charm When he walks his paws Barely touch the ground He'll rub your leg But go no further Because to him there is no pleasure Instead he likes to wear his hat Yell and thrust If you must But do not discuss Or mention the fact That if you look under his hat And in his eye, he will not bat That Paxil® is no longer a cat ____________  Viagra® is as you guessedA cat that makes quite a mess With what you would describe at best As something close to tenderness A few might say that he is just lust An endless supply, you cannot trust But others would say, if cats could talk That' it's as if he wore a truss!' His sure-footed step says 'I am young again! In my prime to spring again' With thrice the money than when he was young It helps cover what comes undone Like marriages and families And things of that sort It is the price you pay With a paid escort But his motto is famous From his self made club 'An upstanding member Is nothing to snub' ____________  Demerol® is not a bad catIf you consider, She is a great consumer But what a terrible bore Because there is always Something delivered To her door She spends the day In her bedroom It's not filled with gloom If that's what you think It is actually very sunny The walls painted pink It is the stack of magazines That bothers me so From People, to Vogue to Mademoiselle After the mail She likes to retire With fresh catalogs She buys her attire She takes the package and runs up the stairs Dam-it-all, Demerol is in a fit The dress she had bought Just won't fit Into the pile A mile high it goes Then she lays in full repose The rest of the day, she paints her toes Waiting for the next catalog to close. ____________  Ritalin® is just a kittenIf you look, you'll find hidden Never in the same place twice It is not a matter of naughty or nice But when you ask a question You must ask it twice And times that by eleven Though Ritalin's® propensity for density Might seem like possession By demons so dark It is not out of the question For if you try to explain To be still is a grace But if you HOLD still He will scratch your face And scream to get back To all the things strewn around Shoes, earmuffs, and mice abound There is no lack of stuff To provide a diversion To a normal kitten This is not a perversion But to play with such disregard To display such a disgrace With disturbing intensity All over the place When trying to explain his lack of attention These words came forth from a great physician 'A patient like this needs patience like that You'll need a magician, to reach to this cat' With sparkle and pizzazz And a dash flash paper To quell the blur named Ritalin® The young agitator ____________  Codiene® is a slow felineIn her movements there is something divine It is not laborious, but well considered From mind to limb, thought out And slowly delivered The effort must come from your part Not to demand or push too hard Codiene®, with every gesture Implies the world is Too large to measure So what you ask must be well considered And whatever it is, slowly delivered Here is an example of what I think Just eating an orange she is brought to the brink Of a revelation On a concrete meaning she will not pounce But think of the word and barely pronounce A color, the adjective A noun or a sound, In the later there is something profound The audible part comes from well-rounded lips Like that of a horn on fog bound ships You will have to guess which of the three She considers the best for On her face there is nothing to see Like glimpsing the flag on that fog bound ship It is hard to decipher, where it started its trip Here is something to let you in on the act What you take as obvious fact Has been taken apart and then put back By this impossibly slow considered cat ____________  Valium®, oh Valium®He once was the stallion King of the backyard, and the kitchen But know he is aged, no longer a kitten His hair all matted, clumpy and gray Like an old Harris Tweed taken for hay Standing up tall, inflating his chest 'I was the first, I was the best' A valiant knight of felicity In Camelot, he lead The battalion against anxiety That awful sense of dread But in these modern times All of that is forgotten So his own disposition Is downright rotten Precariously he sits on the shelf Covered in dust alone, by himself You can hear him cuss, a spiteful hiss 'I was the first true domestic bliss I chased away the terrible mice With all my youth, used all my might When things went wrong, wasn't I right Yes I broke some plates, so what? After my purr they always forgot And stroked and gleamed and smiled a lot' But know there is a tremendous guilt To the tactics Valium® wilt Upon the land in search of peace They avoid his spot as if he smelled Looking to give the prize he held To a cat with greater powers A cat to keep them smiling longer than hours ____________ |
